Each one of us is drawn to yoga for a unique reason. Maybe for some, it is the physical exercise, for others it may be relaxation or clarity. Some people may be drawn to yoga for it’s health benefits but the one reason that lead me to my mat and keeps me on my mat is an emotion that keeps coming up in my life….fear.
Last night as I lay with my son sobbing at one o’clock in the morning during a thunderstorm, I began to think of my my own fears that have come up for me over the years…..fear of losing a loved one, fear of illness, fear of not being liked, fear of failing…the list could go on. Yoga helps me to remain grounded and focused in a world that quite often feels very unpredictable.
Although fear can be scary, there are times that fear can drive us to do something that we thought would be completely out of our reach.
When I first came to yoga, I had just been diagnosed with cervical degenerative disc disease. I had two spinal disc’s that were beginning to narrow in my neck (C4 and C5). I remember when I began to practice yoga, watching everyone in class practicing Upward Bow Pose and wondering if I would ever be able to come into this pose myself one day.
Last year as I completed my 300 hour teacher training with Shasta, I had an “aha” moment during our Fearless Teacher Training module that forever changed me.
When we started our module I knew it had to do with fearless teaching but never thought about facing my own fears. In fact for me, it was the first time that I had really acknowledged my fears out loud. Facing my fears changed my own yoga practice in a way that I never thought was possible. It was then that I realized coming into Upward Bow Pose had been a decision that I made in my mind and I started wondering if this pose really was out of my reach.
During the last day of our training module I remember going into a yoga practice and Shasta talking about fear. Towards the end of practice we were to pair up and help our partner come into Upward Bow Pose from standing. I remember the sudden panic that seemed to flash through me. I realized in that moment I was at least going to try.
That day was the very first time I came into Upward Bow Pose and then with the guidance of Shasta I attempted to let go of my fear and attempt this pose from standing. Although my hands didn’t make it all the way to the ground, something inside of me changed. I continue to work on this posture and am happy with the progress that my body is making. I am being patient and gentle knowing that in time, I will fly into Upward Bow Pose with ease.
I am constantly amazed at how this practice continues to open up my mind and my body to new possibilities.
So the next time you are in class allow yourself the opportunity to open up to the possibility of trying something new. Maybe it will be taking yourself deeper into a challenging pose or trying a new variation of a balance posture. Sometimes as we open ourself to something new we are amazed to see how far we can reach.
Join Susan at the Ajax Studio and the Uxbridge Studio. For class dates and times please see the links below.
www.balancedlifeyoga.ca/home-pages/classes/schedules/ajax-schedule-june-august-2011/
www.balancedlifeyoga.ca/home-pages/classes/schedules/uxbridge-class-schedule/
Susan Di Ilio is a certified 500 hour RYT with Yoga Alliance. When Susan is not on her mat teaching or practicing yoga she is a stay at home mom of two young children and loves spending time with her family and friends. Susan has worked as a Correctional Officer and brings her love of working with people to her Therapeutic Yoga teachings. She shares her love of this practice with her students and is open in sharing her own story of how she came to yoga herself. Susan teaches Gentle Yoga, Deep Tension Yoga and Restorative Yoga.